December 31, 2005
A day at the lake
Baby Gerbil Squeaking
In case you've ever wondered what a baby gerbil sounds like...
RIAA coerces 15 year old girl to commit perjury
This is classic. The idiotic lawyers at the Recording Industry Association of Amerika, not content to intimidate and threaten children for file sharing on computers, has gone a step further. This time, the RIAA urged a 15 year old girl to commit perjury, telling her they didn't have a case if she didn't lie under oath on the witness stand in her own trial.
Today, my daughter played her new guitar that Santa Claus left for her under the tree and, it sounded a little like Pink Floyd, so I destroyed the guitar for fear of imminent litigation. Then, she made a little duck with the modeling clay I bought her for Christmas and said "Look daddy - It's Donald Duck." I promptly lectured her for hours on intellectual property rights and how rich corporations like Disney are damaged by copyright infringement. When she stopped crying, we destroyed the counterfeit duck and the remainder of the modeling clay.
Just to make sure all of our bases were covered, we called the NSA and FCC and reported the incident. They're sending a forensic team of securocrats out at dawn to gather evidence against us.
If everyone is so gung-ho on the CIA torturing suspected illegal combatants in Eastern Europe, I vote that the next group of victims we dump into the maw of the CIA is these vermin from the RIAA and MPAA.
December 30, 2005
The truth about Digital SLR's
Here's a few things that you won't hear about the digital SLR cameras. It's seldom mentioned, but I'll mention it here because I feel these dirty little secrets should be exposed. If you're wondering if I'm qualified to make assements of digital cameras, I've purchased over a dozen of them, so I have a better idea than most of their differences.
1) With a digital SLR camera, you can't use the LCD display on the back to see the image. You have to look through the viewfinder. Sony is currently the only one trying to tackle this problem, and, I can assure you, it's a problem. A big one.
2) When you look through the viewfinder, which you have to to take a photo (see 1 above), what you see is not what you get. No digital SLR shows the true photo when you look through the viewfinder. For instance, with my EOS 20D camera, I have to make a mental note that about 15% of the image outside of the top of my field of vision will show up in the photo. Makes cropping and composition a total crap-shoot.
3)The aspect ration is 3:2 instead of 4:3. This means that the images you take are wider and shorter than with most digital cameras. It means you can take some nice landscape shots, but it also means you'll almost never shoot vertical again.
4)It's a horrible investment. With the old film cameras, you could spend a lot of jack and get a professional Canon camera, use it for 5 years, and then resell it if you needed the cash. They held their value, at least the high-end professional cameras anyway. That's not true any more. With digital cameras, they depreciate rapidly. A professional digital SLR camera depreciates as rapidly as a big-screen television.
Be afraid - be very afraid
Things are about to get ugly. The NSA is eavesdropping on U.S. citizens. The CIA is torturing suspected enemy combatants on foreign soil. What could be worse than this? How about the Justice Department opening up a federal investigation into the source of the leaks? This is a clarion call that our civil liberties are being routinely violated and anyone who reports as much will go to jail. If that doesn't scare you then, well...welkum to the new world order, comrade. I, for one, welcome our new overlords from the NSA and the CIA and the Department of Injustice and the TSA and the FBI and the ATF and the...
Man arrested after posing as gynecologist
I'm not a gynecologist, but I play one on TV. Some genius was posing as a gynecologist and using acupuncture to cure fertility. Police promptly arrested him and charged him with practicing medicine without a license. Yikes.
The Book of Cool
"In the beginning, there were fun things that only others could do..."
The Book of Cool looks kind of interesting. Video of people doing some pretty amazing stunts and tricks. Supposedly, it teaches you to perform the tricks, but I'm not clear how practical that would be. These are, after all, tricks mastered by people who spent a lifetime perfecting their skills. But the trailer looks pretty slick.
Even monkeys fall from trees. - Japanese Proverb
Track any commercial flight in North America
This is a cool website that allows you to track any flight in North America in realtime. Also allows you to track planes by their tail number. Note, you can't track Air Force 1, as their tail numbers are 28000 and 29000, and the site won't allow you to enter five digit tail numbers.
December 29, 2005
Microsoft releases MS "Word Up" Ebonics edition of MS Word
Microsoft today announced the release of an ebonics edition of Microsoft Word. The new product, named Microsoft "Word Up" is expected to be a big seller in the inner cities. Bill Gates had this to say.
It's the first edition of the product specifically aimed at people incapable of learning to speak coherent English, but it won't be our last. If this product is as successful as we hope, look for the Southern edition, "Microsoft Bubba", to follow shortly.
Photo courtesty of Fish-outta-water.
How NOT to drive a forklift
This German safety video for operating a forklift looks like it was directed by Quentin Tarantino.
Car reaches 100 mph with no driver
When his car got stuck, this genius decided to weight down the accelerator with a toolbox while he pushed from behind. It worked a little too well, as it turned out.
I-70 Road Conditions
I-70 looks kind of dicey right now. They're apparently getting some weather up in the mountains. This CDOT web site has cameras you can check out for real-time photos of road conditions. Or you can check the main CDOT website for the condition of other roads in Colorado.
December 28, 2005
MS Word vertical scroll bar disappeared
My vertical scroll bar disappeared from MS Word some time ago. Let's say in the summer. It bugged me, but I couldn't figure it out. Tonight, it bothered me enough that I solved it. I found this post which pointed in the general direction.
In a nutshell, if your vertical scroll disappears for no apparent reason, what you want to do is go to Tools - Options - View - Show and click the checkbox next to Vertical scroll bar. For whatever reason, this box gets unchecked every so often. Thanks, Microsoft. Thanks for that.
Burning Man 2006: Hope and Fear
I got a flyer from Burning Man in the mail today. At first, I figured it to be the preliminary communication for some sort of official investigation, and I'm thinking...are you SURE I was the last person to see her alive? But then, I saw that they were just sort of announcing that the tickets for the burn were going on sale January 18, 2006 at 12:00 noon PST. So there you have it. Get your tickets early, before the prices go up. Enjoy the burn.
NOPD kills citizen armed with knife
The NOPD have stuck again. This time, gunning down a citizen armed with a knife. It was, reportedly though, a very dangerous modified version of the Swiss Army knife with a sharpened toothpick attachement and a bayonet lug, making it an assault knife. The NOPD have been anxious to fire their weapons, as they've not been able to assault the citizens with the same anonymity they enjoyed prior to Hurricane Katrina.
Police-criminals in the NOPD have suffered a string of bad luck in the storm's aftermath. The police-criminals that abandoned their posts and fled their city have been charged with malfeasance and dereliction of duty. Police-criminals that beat a retired school teacher as cameras rolled and then assaulted the camera man were promptly fired or suspended.
The shooting is the first confirmed kill(Post-Katrina) in the occupied city of New Orleans by the phantom-force of NOPD police-criminals.
December 26, 2005
Does Bush Have A Drinking Problem?
This guy claims Bush has a drinking problem. It's pretty funny.
December 25, 2005
Echelon - A Clinton-era NSA Spy Program
For those out that that want to point the finger at Bush as doing something extraordinary by granting the NSA Carte Blanch to eavesdrop as it sees fit on domestic conversations, I'd like to wake you up to the reality of the Clinton-era Echelon surveillance program.
KROFT: (Voiceover) We can't see them, but the air around us is filled with invisible electronic signals, everything from cell phone conversations to fax transmissions to ATM transfers. What most people don't realize is that virtually every signal radiated across the electromagnetic spectrum is being collected and analyzed.
How much of the world is covered by them?
Mr. MIKE FROST (Former Spy): The entire world, the whole planet--covers everything. Echelon covers everything that's radiated worldwide at any given instant.
KROFT: Every square inch is covered.
Mr. FROST: Every square inch is covered.
I know. I know. But they're looking for terrorists, right? So we have nothing to fear, right? Wrong. They're eavesdropping on baby monitors and putting innocent housewives on lists of suspected terrorists.
Is it possible for people like you and I, innocent civilians, to be targeted by Echelon?
Mr. FROST: Not only possible, not only probable, but factual. While I was at CSE, a classic example: A lady had been to a school play the night before, and her son was in the school play and she thought he did a--a lousy job. Next morning, she was talking on the telephone to her friend, and she said to her friend something like this, 'Oh, Danny really bombed last night,' just like that. The computer spit that conversation out. The analyst that was looking at it was not too sure about what the conversation w--was referring to, so erring on the side of caution, he listed that lady and her phone number in the database as a possible terrorist.
KROFT: This is not urban legend you're talking about. This actually happened?
Mr. FROST: Factual. Absolutely fact. No legend here.
Read the whole story about the Clinton-era Echelon surveillance program. I'm glad that some of the leftosphere is starting to wake up to the dangers of the stifling surveillance system that we've tolerated for too long. I just think it's disingenuous to try to blame Bush. Bush is just one person in a long line of people perpetuating the myth of security at the hands of a nanny state.
Here's a one-size-fits-all politically correct Merry Christmas from Audra and the Antidote.
Here's a Merry Christmas from Jennifer.
December 24, 2005
SFPD Cops Gone Wild
Those wacky San Francisco Police are so zany they even made a video called Traffic Cop Gone Wild.
The skits featured uniformed and plainclothes officers making fun of Asians, blacks, women and gay and transgender people, Mayor Gavin Newsom said. He was particularly offended by a scene showing a white officer in a patrol car running over a black homeless woman.
Here are some links to the videos so you can see for yourself. Go to this site and click on SFPD Videos 1 through 6. (Videos 3-6 are the funniest).
I must admit that the videos, in and of themselves, are kind of funny. But, they'd only be funny, in my opinion, if they were made for Reno 911 or something. To think that they were made by real police using tax payer's money is disturbing to me. Apparently, the brass at the SFPD failed to see the humor also, and suspended 20 officers over the incident.
New Time Killing Game
Draw lines to alter the flow of various substances. Pretty cool.
Feds plan to track every vehicle by GPS
Just can't make this stuff up. The U.S. Department of Transportation is planning to track every vehicle using GPS. They already have pilot programs under way in Washington state and Oregon.
Some GPS trackers constantly communicate their location back to the state DMV, while others record the location information for later retrieval. (In the Oregon pilot project, it's beamed out wirelessly when the driver pulls into a gas station.)
The problem, though, is that no privacy protections exist. No restrictions prevent police from continually monitoring, without a court order, the whereabouts of every vehicle on the road.
I, for one, welcome our new US DOT overlords.
December 23, 2005
Bronze Age treasure trove unearthed in garden
Some woman in England found a trove of bronze age artifacts in her garden. The bronze tools, dating from around 600 B.C., were still sharp enough you could easily cut yourself on them, 2,600 years after they were cast.
December 21, 2005
Hurricane Katrina Demoted to Category 3
Don't look now, but they've demoted Hurricane Katrina to a Category 3 hurricane. They're now saying that Katrina made landfall in Louisiana with maximum sustained winds under 130 mph. Doh!
Syriana - Unsafe at Any Speed
Warning. Danger Will Robinson. Stay away. This movie sucks @ss. Trust me. Shoo-In for worst movie of the year. Contender for worst ever. Stay away. Run, don't walk. Trust me on this one people. Stay home and drive bamboo shoots under your fingernails. Shave your pets. Boil your underwear. Do anything, but don't go see this movie. Trust me. Sucks in a major way. I sat there for an hour while they bored me with incongruous trivia. Disconnected scenes. Nothing made sense. Nothing tied together. I finally walked out. It was painful. I would have left earlier but I had to stay for an hour to get my parking validated. Stay away. This movie sucks @ss. Matt Damon. George Clooney. Poorly directly. Bad acting. Horrible script. Cut by someone with ADD on crack. Need I say more? This review gave the movie 2 stars out of 5, which is 2 more than I'd give it. The movie starts so slowly you'll want to kill yourself or anyone near you. The only possible reason anyone could like this movie is if they're liberal and think it's a really serious movie about how bad the U.S. is and how oil drives wars etc. Like I freaking care. Fark the Middle East. Fark the oil-drenched desert. Fark the liberals. This movie sucks @ss, and if it didn't attempt to portray the wars of the middle east as driven by greed and politics, then all the movie critics would give it 0 stars out of 5.
Here's a review that gives the movie 1 star out of 5.
Posted by Peenie Wallie on December 21, 2005 at 8:54 PM | Permalink
A Christmas Greeting
I didn't write this. Someone sent it to me in an email today. Author unknown.
I really wanted to send out some sort of holiday greeting but it is so difficult in today's world to know exactly what to say without offending someone. So I met with my attorney yesterday, and on his advice I want to say to all of you: Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non-addictive gender neutral, celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasions and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2006, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great (not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country or is the only "AMERICA" in the western hemisphere), and without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith, or sexual preference of the wishee. By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms: This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her/himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher. This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year, or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.
Actual results may vary. Do not try this at home. Do not fold, spindle, or mutilate. Any similarities to any persons living or deceased is purely coincidental. Happy Mardi Gras.
Density is Destiny: On Politics and the Paperboy
This article lays out some compelling arguments for the liberal bias of the cities and the conservative tendencies of the country.
Livid Judge James Robertson resigns as head of Potemkin Court
According to an unholy alliance of the WaPo and MSNBC, U.S. District Judge James Robertson has resigned from the secret Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court, a court responsible for oversight of governmental surveillance in intelligence cases.
Although he gave no specific reason for his resignation, it's undoubtedly related the recent bombshell revelations that the NSA has been illegally directed by Bush to clandestinely conduct surveillance on U.S. citizens without a warrant. Apparently, after the NSA illegally spied on U.S. citizens at the behest of Bush, they'd take the information they gleaned surreptitiously to the Potemkin Court for a nice whitewash.
For some reason, Judge James Robertson didn't like the little charade. I, for one, welcome our new NSA overlords, even if it does come at the expense of our most honorable FISA overlords.
Update: Michelle Malkin has more links.
December 20, 2005
Prove To Me I Need My Rights
The idiots at the Counterterrorism Blog have made an ultimatum. They've thrown down the gauntlet. Prove to me that I need my rights, as I don't want them. You really can't make up anything any more flagrantly stupid than this, but he's apparently dead serious. Because he doesn't have sufficient proof of abuse under the auspices of the Orwellian Patroit act, he wants to surrender your rights and his in perpetuity, and hope things don't get out of control. This is so sad I don't know where to begin. I would humbly suggest he read The Road To Serfdom before making any more outrageously stupid posts like this one.
Chalk's Ocean Airways Flight 101 Crashes into Biscayne Bay near Miami, Florida
A Chalk's Ocean Airline twin-engine plane crashed into Biscayne Bay shortly after takeoff yesterday, on Monday December 19th, 2005, at approximately 3:30 p.m. EST. The plane was a twin-engine Grumman G-73T Turbine Mallard seaplane. The plane is designed to take-off and land on the water. A good photo of this particular sea plane taken in 2003, call sign 2969, can be found here.
The flight was headed from Miami to Bimini Island in the Bahamas. It was the first fatality involving passenger plane at Chalk's Ocean Airline, the oldest operating airline in the United States.
Witnesses reported that they heard an explosion and a wing separated from the plane before the main fuselage crashed into the bay, followed by the burning wing. Here a link to an amateur video of the crash.
They're claiming now that there were 20 aboard. 18 passengers and 2 crew members. 19 confirmed deaths at this point.
Update: Preliminary indications point to undetected cracks in the wingspar.
Air Disaster has the updated scoop on the crash.
Explosives disappear - a nation of cowards trembles
The fear mongers and panic peddlers are hyping a theft of plastic explosives and blasting caps. The paranoia seems to focus on the premise that, if these explosives fell into the wrong hands, they could level a building. It's just a pathetic manifestation of the rampant cult of fear that plagues this country of weak-kneed cowards. What ever happened to Churchill's(correction: FDR's) stalwart observation that "We have nothing to fear, but fear itself"?
Apparently, we now have nothing to fear, except for muslims, avian bird flu, some missing explosives, and the horsemen of the apocalypse.
Settle down, you panic stricken sheep. The plastic explosive of choice used by the terrorists is called TATP, and they mix it in bathtubs from commonly available household ingredients. So, they don't need to steal it and draw attention to themselves. If you want to whip up a batch for the wife and kids, here's the directions to make TATP.
So, Good News - Bad News, Bad News first...You will die. That much is sure. And, when the terrorists want to blow someone up, they will, and there's not a damned thing you can do about it. Good News - In a country of 280 million people, they've managed to kill less than 3,000 people so far. So statistically speaking, it's not worth you focusing your fear on. Try avian bird flu, lighting, boll weevils, snake bites, etc. We now return you to your regularly scheduled paralysis of fear.
Update: Michelle Malkin weighs in with an appropriate response. Ho-hum.
FBI vs. PETA
Two of my least favorite organizations are going toe to toe. As much as I hate PETA, I like the FBI even less. That the FBI is investigating an organization like PETA should serve as a clarion call that the FBI is a train off the rails. Just like the FBI infiltrated and undermined the civil rights groups in the 60's and 70's, they're making inroads again under the pretense of fighting terrorism. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
The conceptual art of Geoff Lupo
This is pretty funny. Geoff Lupo is a conceptual artist that creates and posts flyers all over the city advertising things of negligible value like a single pen cap, a stick of gum, or a thumb tack for sale for a nominal amount like 35 cents. It's pretty cool me thinks.
December 19, 2005
Barbie's Death Camp and Wine Bistro
Michelle Malkin has apparently never been to Burning Man to see "Barbie's Death Camp and Wine Bistro".
December 18, 2005
Kraut scientists reconstruct part of Wooly Mammoth DNA
Some German scientists have been hard at work in the lab reconstructing part of the DNA of an extinct Wooly Mammoth. Although I think this is a worthwhile endeavor, and I'm all about building a real-life Island of Dr. Moreau or Jurassic Park, it's unfortunate that the scientists really haven't caught on to the true role of RNA. The prevailing theory among scientists has been that RNA is basically a vestigial remant from early life forms before DNA appeared. Fortunately, scientists are slowly starting to realize that there's not a whole lot of unused, obsolete junk inside of a cell. It's not true that we use only 10% of our brains. It's not true that there's a bunch of obsolete organic material inside of our cells. It's not true that life can only exist on other planets that are exactly like Earth. Hopefully, scientists can try to keep these thoughts in mind as they go forward. Occam's Razor has spoken.
College Education in America
It seems like no matter how much money we spend educating students, half of the students are always below average.
White Trash Christmas
White Trash Christmas isn't new, but it is timely.
December 16, 2005
Senate blocks renewal of the Patriot Act
Finally, some good news in the war on our civil liberties. The senate needed 60 votes to extend the provisions of the Patriot Act in perpetuity, but they only got 52. 47 Senators, both Democrat and Republican, joined together and blocked the renewal of the ill-conceived Patriot Act. Thankfully, some of our elected officials seem to understand that their oath to uphold the constitution means something. Albeit they're a minority, but it's still encouraging news, nonetheless.
NSA begins spying on sheeple in the U.S.
The New York Times is reporting that the spooks at the National Security Agency(NSA) have begun clandestinely eavesdropping on U.S. citizens. The NSA is a group that is so secretive that, up until recently, most people had never even heard of the agency. Basically, it's a bunch of cryptographic, geek spooks that work on cracking codes and eavesdropping. Glen Reynolds, at Instapundit, describes this as a "major shift in U.S. surveillance policy". It may possibly be a shift in policy, but it's not a shift in in their defacto operational tactics. In fact, the NSA has been illegally eavesdropping on phone calls in the United States for a long time, accroding to the book The Puzzle Palace by James Bamford.
According the Bamford, all the NSA did was go to the phone companies and say "we want to tap into these phone calls surreptitiously" and the phone companies said "OK". So, maybe what's different is that the NSA has the president's permission now, but the NSA has been secretly recording and eavesdropping on our communications for decades.
Michelle Malkin justifiably questions the timing of the story in the New York Times, as it just so happens to fall on the day after the elections in Iraq. Hardly surprising in this weather.
Reason is reporting that:
Then post 9/11 -- as has been well-documented -- everything changed. President Bush gave the NSA a secret OK to directly spy on international communications from the U.S. without even troubling the rubber stamp that is the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court.
I, for one, welcome our new NSA overlords. I just hope that they can coexist peacably with our other overlords at the TSA, BATF, CIA, FBI, INS, DEA, police, sheriffs, national guard, and of course, the U.S. military.
Update: There seems to be some confusion among the attorneys as to the constitutionality of governmental spooks eavesdropping on the private communications of individual citizens. This can only be confusing to people who have spent a lifetime parsing the Bill of Rights and debating each clause and subclause until we can no longer be sure what the meaning of the word "is" is. These same individuals are unduly fettered by stare decisis, that they spend lifetimes digesting the abominations of case law, extruding tortured conclusions from the blighted, putrid rulings of our embarrassing jurisprudence.
The 9th amendment makes it very clear to me, both in letter and intent, that people are assumed to have all rights by implication, not merely those enumerated in the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Among those rights, would certainly be the right to a private conversation without any meddling by the government. In normative jurisprudence, the average citizen would have little trouble in discerning this and arriving at the same conclusion. It's only the nanny-state Dimocrat lawyers and governmental bureaucrats that seem to be confused over whether we have the right to have private conversations amongst ourselves.
December 15, 2005
Release the Barrett Report
Congress should release the Barrett Report, and they should release it now. What is it, you ask? Only a series of bombshell revelations about the Clintons' extra-legal transgressions in office. It reportedly details how the Clinton Whitehouse used the IRS to destroy political opponents, plus scads of other juicy morsels of malfeasance that threaten to torpedo Hillary's delusions of relevance. It's considereds o damaging to the Demagogues, that
"...Sens. Byron Dorgan, Dick Durbin and John Kerry took the highly unusual step earlier this year of trying to slip into an Iraq-war spending bill an amendment to suppress every word of the Barrett report. (Every other independent counsel finding has been printed in its entirety, with the exception of small sections containing classified material.)"
Read more about the Barrett Report here.
Technorati tags: Barrett Report
December 14, 2005
Cloud Appreciation Society
Here's some cool photos of clouds, courtest of the Cloud Appreciation Society.
Obedience To The Law Is Freedom
They don't even have Rigoberto Alpizar's body in the ground yet, and the Air Marshals are out goose-stepping with dogs, occupying more of our sovereign soil. Look for Air Marshals soon in a bus station, train depot, or Home Depot near you.
Update: Fortunately, someone else besides myself sees a potential problem with the feds killing a defenseless, innocent citizen and lying to cover it up.
Image Credits: I believe the above photo is an image of New Jersey's Fort Dix Stockade, taken by David Fenton, the "Lensman of the '60s".
December 13, 2005
Yet another bandwidth thief.
December 12, 2005
Here's a big surprise. The Department of Homeland Stupidity has announced that their idiotic securocrats overreacted when they executed Rigoberto Alpizar.
Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies
I don't normally share my recipes, but here's one that I couldn't help but pass along.
Jose Cuervo Christmas Cookies:
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
1 tsp lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle Jose Cuervo Tequilla
Sample the Cuervo to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Cuervo again, to be sure it is of the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
Turn on the electric mixer...Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar.. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Cuervo is still OK, try another cup . just in case.
Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit, Pick the frigging fruit off floor...
Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry lloose with a drewscriver. Sample the Cuervo to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift two cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Jose Cuervo. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find.
Greash the oven.
Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Finally, throw the bowl out, finish the Cose Juervo and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.
We made gingerbread men yesterday, but with the leftover gingerbread dough, I free handed a gingerbread gerbil and a gingerbread dachshund. According to Jennifer, they were delicious.
December 11, 2005
Southwest Airlines has first fatal plane crash in its history
Here's the ongoing discussion related to the crash of Southwest Flight 1248 at Chicago's Midway airport which resulted in the death of a small child. This site, www.airdisaster.com, has the most informed discussions on plane accidents you will find on the internet. These guys usually nail down the exact causes of plane crashes long before the experts at the NTSB.
The pilot apparently turned the autobrakes off, which will probably go down as a contributing factor. Pilot is now claiming the reverse thrusters wouldn't engage immediately. Apparently, he also tried to land with a tail-wind, when an alternate runway was available that would have allowed him to land into the wind.
Update: Southwest Airlines has indicated that he had the autobrakes on, and set to maximum, in violation of company policy. NTSB is trying to determine if he used the "heads up" display.
December 10, 2005
Life is Short - Play Hard
More photos in extended entry.
Man Kills Securocrat in Self Defense - Sentenced to Death
This happened in Prentiss, Mississippi, about 20 miles from where I grew up. The police broke into the wrong house in a no-knock raid. Didn't announce that they were police. In the middle of the night. The innocent black man in the home fired in self defense, and killed the police chief's white son. Cory Maye was sentenced to death by a white jury, and now sits on Death Row in Mississippi.
British Mercenaries Shooting at Baghdad Motorists
Apparently, these employees of the British mercenary Firm Aegis Defense Services were supposed to be providing security for some forces in Baghdad. I guess that, by providing security, they meant shooting randomly at other motorists.
Update: Apparently, they've opened an investigation of Aegis based on this video.
Air Marshal Securocrat Updates
The Department of Homeland Stupidity is reporting that, after illegally searching millions of people in the nation's airports, they registered a false positive for the plastic explosive TATP on an Egyptian man's shoe. They determined the man was a terrorist, released him, and subsequently announced that the terrorist was on his way to Central Iowa, creating a panic in that area of the country.
As a result of this, the securocrats were supremely edgy when they gunned down Rigoberto Alpizar this week.
Two passengers are now saying that they never heard him say he had a bomb.
Passenger Mary Gardner: "I did not hear him say that he had a bomb."
John McAlhany, a 44-year-old construction worker who was returning home from a fishing trip in Key West, said he was sitting in Seat 21C when he noticed a commotion a few rows back.
"I heard him saying to his wife, 'I've got to get off the plane,'" McAlhany said. "He bumped me, bumped a couple of stewardesses. He just wanted to get off the plane."
Alpizar ran up the aisle into the first-class cabin, where marshals chased him onto the jetway, McAlhany said.
McAlhany said he "absolutely never heard the word 'bomb' at all."
December 9, 2005
Securocrats arrest, handcuff man for re-selling subway token
The MARTA securocrats in Atlanta arrested a man for reselling a MARTA subway token. Because the subway token machine was broken, Donald Pirone offered a token to the person attempting to purchase a token from the broken machine. In exchange, the man paid Donald Pirone the exact value of the token. A sharp securocrat, ever vigilant at protecting us from Lord-knows-what, arrested the man, handcuffed him, and issued him a citiation. At least they didn't gun him down in cold blood. I, for one, welcome our new securocrat overlords.
December 8, 2005
Brave New Air Marshals
Thankfully, we live in Amerika, Land of the Safe, where we're protected from cradle to grave by the securocrats. What alarms me about the right-wing blogosphere (rogosphere?) is the rush to defend the Air Marshals.
The story continues to change drastically from what was initially released yesterday. Initially, they claimed to have shot him as he fled the plane. Now, apparently, CNN is claiming that the suspect had already deplaned and passed through customs, came back towards the plane to reboard for Orlando flight, approached the air marshals 'aggressively' and reached into the bag, at which time the marshals shot him.
We have no idea what the passenger Rigoberto Alpizar did or said. Many subsequent interviews with passengers don't mention him claiming to have a bomb. No one knows if he was reaching in the bag, as he was killed in a jetway with only two people in it, Rigoberto Alpizar, and the unnamed Air Marshal. And Alpizar is dead.
This situation calls for a thorough investigation, but instead, the right is falling all over themselves to defend the Air Marshal before all the facts are in. So, if the Right get's their way, then we'll just live under the heel of the anonymous Air Marshals from here on out?
Fortunately, some people seem to understand that the Air Marshals might not be infallible.
Update: The two unnamed Air Marshals have been placed on some sort of administrative leave/suspension. This ought to drive the right-wing toe-the-line types nuts.
December 7, 2005
Identifying Federal Marshals
Because people are so stupid, and so enamored with the Federal Marshals, I'd like to share something with you. Air Marshals stick out like a sore thumbs. They always board the plane first, and they check in with the pilot and the co-pilot. So, if you board the plane early, you can see them talking to the pilot and co-pilot in the cabin. Then, they'll sit down on the first row of the plane in one of the aisle seats.
And they always sit in the same seats. They dress the same, wearing suits and ties. They cut their hair the same and they're clean shaven. Board the plane early, and if you see a guy that looks like he belongs in the military sitting in the front row in one of the aisle seats, he's a Federal Air Marshal. And, you'd better keep your mouth shut or he'll murder you.
So, now that you know how to identify the U.S. Idiot Air Marshal Nazis, all you need to know is how to get a gun on the plane. I may even post on how to easily smuggle a handgun onto the plane. Remember that old silly provision in the constitution that "...the right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed"? Well, I'm kind of stupid because I assumed that our founding fathers meant that when they said it. Meant the we couldn't be disarmed. Even if we're boarding planes. Or buses. Or subways. Or taxis. Or walking into a Walmart.
Stay tuned, citizens! The securocrats can't save you and I'm not willing to let you surrender my rights and yours so easily. Stand by to learn how to defend yourself against crazed U.S. Air Marshals.
Federal Airport Nazis execute unarmed citizen
The Federal Marshalls assasinated an innocent citizen in Miami. These idiots murdered an unarmed passenger once they had him on the ground. Here's a prediction. They will discover that 1) he wasn't a terrorist and 2) he didn't have a bomb and 3) he was unarmed and 4) they over-reacted and killed the poor man. Of course, this is just the price we have to pay for living in a police state.
Update: Many thanks for the comments from the mindless dolts and sycophants that stumbled onto this site. My point is that I don't believe that Federal Air Marshalls should be running around shooting people. The simple reason for this is that, if they do, they will inevitably kill more people than the terrorists ever dreamed of killing. There are 280 million people in this country. Terrorists have killed less than 3,000 people in our country in its entire history. I personally am not afraid of terrorists. I am, however, deathly afraid of the overzealous police, FBI, CIA, BATF, and now the Federal Air Marshalls. So, for those of you keeping score at home, as of today, the Federal Air Marshalls have killed as many people as Ted Kennedy, and more than Charles Manson. You may now return to your regularly scheduled diet of hysterical fear of muslims.
Update 2: As for the comments speculating why I didn't lay the blame on Bush Jr, I voted for Bush Jr. twice. So, I'm not trying to pen it on him. And, if Alito gets on the bench, you'll all be sucking hind tit 'cause he supports the right of private citizens to own machine guns.
Update 3: For all the mental dwarfs that are claiming this poor victim said he had a bomb and reached into his bag, I'd like to point out that you have no idea what he said and whether or not he reached into a bag. You're taking the Air Marshall's word for it, and taking it on faith at that. This situation calls for a thorough investigation, otherwise you're going to have people on planes that can shoot to kill with impunity. Finally, if you people are all so deathly afraid of bombs, why do you possibly allow yourselves to go onto subways, buses, and into grocery stores without a securocrat sanctioned to murder without retribution at your side? Why limit your safety zone to the time you're on a plane or in the airport? Why not demand that Air Marshalls protect you around the clock?
Update 4: Some people think this post is meant to be satirical. It is not. Check my other posts if you doubt it. I have a healthy distrust of authority. I think that having armed anonymous federal agents on every plane is a bureaucratic top-down solution to calm the sheeple. I'm not clear that this is better than the solution envisioned by our founding fathers. Namely, allow people to defend themselves. Don't search them. Don't disarm them. Just let them live their lives. Putting an armed anonymous securocrat on every flight and every street corner and every grocery store in Amerika is not a feasible solution.
Update 5: My next prediction is that they will come to the conclusion that he never said he had a bomb. Don't look now, but some passengers are coming out and saying just that. He never said he had a bomb. Doh!
Update 6: As the story changes from 'he was running down the aisle shouting I HAVE A BOMB' to 'maybe he said he had a bomb in the jetway', the mindless dolts and sycophants keep believing what they want to believe. Namely, that the guy deserved to die because he was shot. Period end of story. No need to investigate. Just shut up and get in line.
Posted by Peenie Wallie on December 7, 2005 at 2:18 PM | Permalink
December 6, 2005
Pen guns must be banned
Some idiotic white wigger rapper pointed a small gun disguised as a pen at his head and pulled the trigger. Not surprisingly, he died a short time later. The idiot apparently thought the gun was jammed. His mother, logically enough, has called for a ban of pen guns. Instead of blaming inanimate objects, I suggest that we corral all of his surviving relatives and gas them with Zyclon B.
Any idiot that points a gun at his head and pulls the trigger deserves to die. Any woman that doesn't teach this fundamental concept of gun safety should have the hubris to admit that she's an inept parent and failed her offspring miserably. Calling for a ban of yet another weapons is an old saw. The worn and tired bleat of feminist mental drivel, propagated by the Main-Stream-Media, is falling on tin ears. That dog won't hunt. His family should be exterminated post haste. The world is better off without their ilk.
Update: Apparently someone is mistakenly attempt to read Peenie Wallie as a valid, coherent, manifesto, and having difficulty assimilating my various positions. In the words of the immortal Mark Twain, "Persons attempting to find a motive in this narrative will be prosecuted; persons attempting to find a moral in it will be banished; persons attempting to find a plot in it will be shot."
So, I don't claim to be a shaman, a savant, or a healer. I don't claim to be some Christ-like leadership figure in hope of attracting disciples. I do tend to shoot down the prevailing idiocy of both the right and the left, and am beholden to neither.
To further clarifiy my point, I do not seriously believe this guy's extended family should be killed. That subtlety was apparently lost. However, I shed no tears for the idiot that shot himself. Rule number one of gun safety is 1) always treat any gun as though it was loaded. Never point a gun at something you don't intend to shoot. These are basic, common sense, gun safety principles. They are universal. There are no exceptions to them.
For the dead idiot's mom to then come out in favor of a gun ban, is abhorrent. Just misplaced anguish.
Posted by Peenie Wallie on December 6, 2005 at 12:36 PM | Permalink
December 4, 2005
This time-killing game named Missile Strike is basically a clone of Missile Command.
No Christmas For You
If you're sick and tired of the ACLU and the bleeding hearts trying to take the religion out of Christmas, you are, apparently, not alone. No Christmas For You. Audio not safe for work.
December 3, 2005
New Time Killing Game called Gun Run.
Meet Deborah Davis. She's a 50 year-old mother of four who lives and works in Denver, Colorado. Her kids are all grown-up: her middle son is a soldier fighting in Iraq. She leads an ordinary, middle class life. You probably never would have heard of Deb Davis if it weren't for her belief in the U.S. Constitution.
Will it come to this? The ID card above is satire, but how soon before it becomes reality? When honest, law-abiding citizens can't commute to work on a city bus without a demand for their "papers," something is very, very wrong.
One morning in late September 2005, Deb was riding the public bus to work. She was minding her own business, reading a book and planning for work, when a security guard got on this public bus and demanded that every passenger show their ID. Deb, having done nothing wrong, declined. The guard called in federal cops, and she was arrested and charged with federal criminal misdemeanors after refusing to show ID on demand.
On the 9th of December 2005, Deborah Davis will be arraigned in U.S. District Court in a case that will determine whether Deb and the rest of us live in a free society, or in a country where we must show "papers" whenever a cop demands them.
Read the rest of the story.
December 2, 2005
The Perfect Christmas Gift - TSA Action Figures
Haven't decided what to get your little rug rats, curtain climbers, and ankle biters for Christmas? Look no further. The TSA action figures are now available. Your children practice being illegally searched in the comfort of their own homes. Currently only available as an airport screening version, but look for future editions of Bus Depot TSA, State Border TSA, and Grocery Store TSA action sets. 4th Amendment not included.
Squirrels kill dog
Who knew being a squirrel dog was hazardous duty? Apparently, this dog barked at some squirrels and the squirrels attacked and killed the dog. Yikes.