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December 07, 2005

Identifying Federal Marshals

Because people are so stupid, and so enamored with the Federal Marshals, I'd like to share something with you. Air Marshals stick out like a sore thumbs. They always board the plane first, and they check in with the pilot and the co-pilot. So, if you board the plane early, you can see them talking to the pilot and co-pilot in the cabin. Then, they'll sit down on the first row of the plane in one of the aisle seats.

And they always sit in the same seats. They dress the same, wearing suits and ties. They cut their hair the same and they're clean shaven. Board the plane early, and if you see a guy that looks like he belongs in the military sitting in the front row in one of the aisle seats, he's a Federal Air Marshal. And, you'd better keep your mouth shut or he'll murder you.

So, now that you know how to identify the U.S. Idiot Air Marshal Nazis, all you need to know is how to get a gun on the plane. I may even post on how to easily smuggle a handgun onto the plane. Remember that old silly provision in the constitution that "...the right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed"? Well, I'm kind of stupid because I assumed that our founding fathers meant that when they said it. Meant the we couldn't be disarmed. Even if we're boarding planes. Or buses. Or subways. Or taxis. Or walking into a Walmart.

Stay tuned, citizens! The securocrats can't save you and I'm not willing to let you surrender my rights and yours so easily. Stand by to learn how to defend yourself against crazed U.S. Air Marshals.

Related Posts:
Brave New Air Marshals
Federal Airport Nazis execute unarmed citizen
London Police lied about the man they murdered in an underground station

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Posted by Peenie Wallie on December 07, 2005 at 07:06 PM


You are an idiot!

Posted by: Steve on December 08, 2005 at 05:20 AM

If air marshalls are so easy to spot, how come this guy didn't? The way you describe them, even a bi-polar man off his medication should have realized that shouting bombing in a crowded cabin was not the right thing to do. Personally, I never spotted an air marshall on a plane, because my primary concern is minding my own business.

Posted by: Michael Pate on December 08, 2005 at 07:47 AM

Actually, the whole text of the second amendment reads;
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

The constitution also says that congress shall make no laws abridging freedom of speech. However, I can't get up and yell fire in a crowded theater.

I agree that the marshalls program as currently constituted needs to be changed. But the changes should make them like undercover cops, rather than a regular detective in a suit and tie. They should wear business casual or whatever else is appropriate for men and women of their age. They shouldn't dress like slobs, but they shouldn't dress like FBI agents. They aren't the plain clothes secret service trying to intimidate potential criminals.

Posted by: jon on December 08, 2005 at 09:29 AM

The only part of this rant you got right is that you're stupid.

Posted by: Cappmann on December 08, 2005 at 10:45 AM

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