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December 21, 2005
Syriana - Unsafe at Any Speed
Warning. Danger Will Robinson. Stay away. This movie sucks @ss. Trust me. Shoo-In for worst movie of the year. Contender for worst ever. Stay away. Run, don't walk. Trust me on this one people. Stay home and drive bamboo shoots under your fingernails. Shave your pets. Boil your underwear. Do anything, but don't go see this movie. Trust me. Sucks in a major way. I sat there for an hour while they bored me with incongruous trivia. Disconnected scenes. Nothing made sense. Nothing tied together. I finally walked out. It was painful. I would have left earlier but I had to stay for an hour to get my parking validated. Stay away. This movie sucks @ss. Matt Damon. George Clooney. Poorly directly. Bad acting. Horrible script. Cut by someone with ADD on crack. Need I say more? This review gave the movie 2 stars out of 5, which is 2 more than I'd give it. The movie starts so slowly you'll want to kill yourself or anyone near you. The only possible reason anyone could like this movie is if they're liberal and think it's a really serious movie about how bad the U.S. is and how oil drives wars etc. Like I freaking care. Fark the Middle East. Fark the oil-drenched desert. Fark the liberals. This movie sucks @ss, and if it didn't attempt to portray the wars of the middle east as driven by greed and politics, then all the movie critics would give it 0 stars out of 5.
Here's a review that gives the movie 1 star out of 5.
Posted by Peenie Wallie on December 21, 2005 at 8:54 PM