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January 20, 2012

Windows 7 Dynamic IPv4 Autoconfiguration Nightmare

I spent some time trying to get my Windows 7 x64 laptop connected to the internet. I ended up disabling IPV6 per these instructions.

I also may have gone kinda nuts and stripped out all of the Link-Layer Topology Discovery protocols also. I think. I'm not sure really. It was late and I was really tired. It's hard to say what I did.

I can't tell you how much I hate Windows 7. There are no words. Nothing could do it justice. If I could capture Bill Gates, I'd hold him down by the creek for days and every day, I'd just walk by and look and him and shake my head. I'd do this every day for about a week or so. And then finally, I'd come over with a rock and I'd bash his skull against a tree so that I got his attention and that I'd ask him this...."What in the fvck were you thinking when you tried to rewrite the networking protocols?"

They don't work. I mean...I mean...You can't get this fvcking computer to connect to a wireless network. There are not enough hours in the day. Not enough days in your life to fix this godforsaken computer. And it's not like I'm dumb. Or computer illiterate. I'm pretty good around a computer. Ask anyone that knows me.

It should be simple. You should turn on the computer. It should look for a network. If it finds one, it should ask for permission to connect. You should say "Sure...why not". At the most, all you should ever have to do is supply a password. But this is not the case.

The freaking nightmare that I have runs IPv4 and IPv6. I disabled IPv6, and focused on trying to get IPv4 to work. No dice. It still comes up with some crazy Autoconfiguration IPv4 address that I have no idea where it's coming from. No clue where it gets this IP address from. Certainly not from my DHCP server. And I even told it where my server was. I went into the configuration and told the stupid computer the IP address of the DHCP server. No dice.

What I'd like to do, is take it down to Bill Gates and put it in his lap and say "Here you go, genius. You've got eleven minutes to get it connected to the network." And then watch him sweat when he realized what a piece of garbage he'd foisted upon the world.

Then I'd take him down and waterboard him in the creek for days and finally leave him in the middle of the interstate, on a dark night, bound and gagged, and lay in the bushes giggling at the sound of the mail trucks flattening his carcass into beef jerky.

Update: I couldn't get my XP laptop to connect to the wireless router either. And I verified my MAC Address was in the filter. Cycling the router fixed the problem and my laptop ended up with a valid IP address.

Posted by Rob Kiser on January 20, 2012 at 1:51 AM

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