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June 5, 2007

Camp Daddy - Day 3

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Day 3 at Camp Daddy, we didn't do much. Took in the SeaDoo to get it fixed and then went to the Hands On Science Center. We've been trying to figure out where to buy a turtle for the turtle race at Daddy Billy's on Saturday, but, so far no luck. Apparently, it is a violation of federal law to purchase a turtle less than four inches in diameter since the 1970's. Aside from that, it is furthermore illegal to sell or offer for sale any turtle or tortoise in the state of Tennessee.

I had this woman in a pet store explaining all of this to me as if it made perfect sense. "Turtles cause salmonella. That's why it's illegal to sell them."

"Chickens carry salmonella. Why is it legal to buy chickens?" I ask. "Dogs carry rabies. Why can we buy dogs?"

I'd argue that every pet for sale is susceptible to multiple diseases, many of which can be transmitted to the owners. Why not ban the sale of pets outright? No matter how stupid a law is, there appears to be a line stretching in perpetuity of apologists for big government intervention ready to declare that it's all perfectly logical. No matter how patently absurd the laws, they are always precisely crafted in the minds the numbskulled sychopants. Were it not the turtle police...were it not for our Orwellian laws regulating everything from seatbelts to light bulbs to pets, our Earth would stumble in its orbit about the sun. Of this, they are certain.

The more I understand our government, the more convinced I become that we need to repeal every single law on the books and start over from scratch. I'm very close to an epiphany, the way John Watson realized the world was completely insane when he read the instructions on how to use a toothpick.

Of course, I found a site on the internet that says they FedEx turtles anywhere on the planet overnight. Thank God for the internet.

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Posted by Rob Kiser on June 5, 2007 at 2:57 PM

Comments

Feed him some good food sweeetie....I bet he really likes you!

Posted by: Mommy on June 5, 2007 at 8:25 PM

...and thank God for little girls and kittens....

Posted by: sl on June 5, 2007 at 10:06 PM

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