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October 6, 2016

Under The Rainbow - The Ontario Airport Hotel

But my bike is broken down in Oakland. Or Emeryville. Or Berkeley. Somewhere up there.

So, since my bike is up there, I have to rent a car, and it's just miserable.

Like, it's hard to hard to describe how horrible the car rental business is, really. Like, it's just so low. I suspect there are drug dealers, hit men, and prostitutes with stronger convictions and morals that these demons.

I rent a mini-van from Ace Car Rental. Turns out that they're not at the same rental car location with all of the other rental cars. So, I take the shuttle to the rental car building, and they're not there. Freaking great. Now, I'm calling the rental car agency, and they send a shuttle to pick me up.

Now, there are no advantages to renting a car. It's like sticking your hand into a meat grinder, pretty much. Basically, it works like this. You rent a car, and now, when you go out into the parking lot, you not only forget where you parked, but now, you forget what you're driving. Every time you try to drive it, it's like you're learning to drive all over again. The shifter is in a different place. AC. headlights. Everything changes with each car rental. It's like a 7th level of hell.

Suddenly, it's Thursday and time to return to Denver, so I take the rental car and drop it off. Good riddance. They take me back to Ontario and now, I'm waiting for my flight to Denver. Then, on Saturday, I'll fly to San Francisco and pick up the motorcycle. Then, I'll drive the bike back to LA. I mean, it's not much of a plan, but it's the best I could come up with.

So, we board the plane in Ontario, but now they can't figure out how much fuel is in the plane. Something's not right. So, we all get off of the plane and sit there for 5 fucking hours while they try to figure out what's going on with the plane.

I can't really decide what to do. There's no real reason for me to go to Denver at this point. Finally, I tell them that I want out. I don't want to fly to Denver. Instead, I want them to put me up in a hotel, and send me to the hotel in a shuttle. And, now, instead of flying to Denver today, I've decided that I want to fly to Oakland tomorrow.

So, they book me on a flight to Oakland tomorrow. Like....this is all very confusing. I'm trying to minimize my costs. And, returning my rental car, not flying to denver, and staying in a hotel for free seems like the cheapest way to go. Tomorrow, I'm taking a chance by flying to Oakland, but if my bike is ready, then it will all work out. And, if my bike isn't ready, then I can hang out in San Francisco for Fleet Week.

Like....I struggle with these things. Where should I spend my weekend? It's both a blessing and a curse.

All of the other people finally board the plane and fly away. And now I'm still here at the airport, trying to decide what to do.

"Can y'all put me up in a hotel for the night?"

"Not without an active ticket we can't..."

"Then book me on a flight to Oakland tomorrow."

"Yes sir."

And now, I'm in a shuttle to the Ontario Airport Hotel. The plan is now to spend the night in the hotel, work from the hotel in the morning, then shuttle back to the airport, then fly to Oakland, catch the BART/Lyft up to the motorcycle, and pray that it's ready tomorrow afternoon.

Then, I'll catch Fleet Week in San Francisco, and drive the bike back to Los Angeles over the weekend.

Posted by Rob Kiser on October 6, 2016 at 8:46 PM


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