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October 11, 2016

The Bike in the Parking Lot

In the morning, I call the maggots at Westerra Credit Union. Those rotten motherfuckers hung me out to dry. In a big way.

The conversation went something like this.

"Can you please explain to me why both my personal and corporate debit cards are being declined when I have $50K in both accounts?"

"Well...let's have a look here....It looks like there was a suspicious transaction...a charge for $450 on Friday....did you make that charge?"

"How in the fuck should I know?"

"Were you traveling?"

"I travel all the time. You can look at my account and see that. I fly twice a week. Who in the fuck are you to cancel my credit cards. Do you know how bad you fucked me? You canceled both of my credit cards on Friday when I tried to settle up with a man for $450, then you closed for business for 3 days straight. And there's no phone number for me to call while you're closed. Isn't that right? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW BAD YOU FUCKED ME?!!!! I was in San Francisco, with no money. For 3 days. While your fucking bank was closed. God Dammit!"

"Well, the transaction was suspicious..."

"In what way? I travel every week. You can check my account and see that."

"I have enabled your debit card, so it should be working normally."

"What about my corporate debit card? What's going on with that one?"

"We sent you a new card, and you didn't activate it, so we canceled this card."

"How in the fuck does that make any sense? My card says it expires 10/17. That's a year form now. So, my card says it's still good."

"We sent you a new card, but you didn't activate it...."

"I'm sure you do a much better job of opening your mail than I do, since you're not flying twice a week."

"Is there anything else we can help you with?"

"You can activate my God Dammned corporate debit card. And also, I want you to schedule a cash withdrawal. I'm going to be in your bank on Friday, and I'm taking out $20K in cash. In fifties."

"Have a nice day sir.'

"Go fuck yourself."

I spend all day trying to load data into a couple of tables. Something that should take me about 10 minutes if I had a half a brain. Everyone else has left when I finally leave at around 8:00 p.m.

The nice thing about getting in early and working late is, you don't have to hunt for your bike in the parking lot.

The nice thing about the bike is you don't wonder who's side he's on. He's all in. All the way. Ready to go. Like...the bike can solve a lot of problems. Like, when nothing else makes sense, the bike is a long lost friend. I get on the bike and leave the parking lot.

At work, they call out the CEMLI's like a bing game. "713...who has 713?"

"That's me..." someone replies.

Like...seriously? Who in the fuck goes around with a basket of 3 digit numbers in their head. I can't find the house I stay in without a GPS.

It's hard to admit, but my riding has deteriorated along with my mental abilities. Truth be known, I've had many close calls lately. And not just from lane splitting at triple digits. Obviously, that's suicidal.

But my normal riding has deteriorated as well. Like...I turn around to do something on the bike, and forget that I'm driving down the road. Like...you think I"m making that up, but I'm not really. Something isn't quite right. And, when you're riding through 6 lanes of traffic, small mistakes have big consequences.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be able to hold out. I mean, yeah....I can still do the work that they give me....but it's so much harder than it ever used to be.

Posted by Rob Kiser on October 11, 2016 at 9:51 PM


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