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November 23, 2015

Day 1 - Morrison, CO to Salida, CO (Mon 11/23/15)

Day 1 - Morrison, Colorado to Salida, Colorado (Mon 11/23/15)

Update: I am alive and well and resting peacefully in Salida, Colorado.

Starting Odometer: 33,333
Ending Odometer: 33,462
Miles Driven Today: 129
Miles Driven This Trip: 129

Here's a map of where I drove today.

I'm running late for my court date at 9 AM in Gilpen county. So I'm speeding in the same county where I have a court date I have expired license plate's probably don't have insurance. Next sentence

Some idiot has rolled his minivan on 119 somehow just south of black hawk

Court is a nightmare. Everyone is guilty you can tell. A dozen convicts in prison orange jumpsuits. Wearing handcuffs. They're all guilty judge knows it. The pigs know it. Just the dregs of society. You could kill everyone there and society would be better off.

I'm here because I drove my motorcycle up to the Moffat Tunnel this summer. but I've been dragging this out for too long. I want to get on with my life.

One guy stole poker. Chips at a casino Johnny Z's.

People on probation that drift around but don't register. People who's stated goal is to open a checking account, get their license reinstated. People that don't own property. They look like someone you might see at a bus stop, or maybe panhandling down on east colfax.

People with tattoos and bleached hair. Faces of meth, parading around the courtroom waving unlit cigarettes. Like stray dogs darting furtively before an earthquake.

One guy in the convict box is wearing a bulletproof vest. Straight out of silence of the lambs.

This guy's insurance made a payment of restitution of $39,000.00. Lord only knows what he did.

They make we want to strap an uzi to a drone and start killing strangers by remote control.

Hang on. Hold the line. We've got a new DA. And she's not wearing a ring. Now, I have a new goal. I have to throw myself at the mercy of the DA and the ask her on a date. Tall, thin, blonde. Young but not too young. We may have a winner here.

I'm as sick as a dog. I caught it from Jen because Chick Fil A can never get the drinks right. I want to go home and die but the Baja is calling me.

People are here in court that are in jail in other counties. This guys in a grey and white jumper, handcuffed and shackled. And leaves here tone shuttled back to jail in Douglas county.

But I'm not supposed to leave the country. I could drive to the gilpin county courthouse blindfolded.

I know the judge. I know the guy at the metal detector. It's easily the most relaxed courtroom I've ever been in. People whisper and talk. I use my cell phone. No one ever says anything. They did make me take my hat off.

People claim they make $2,000.00. People with multiple warrants, and no income are a flight risk and they get large bonds.

My throat feels like it's on fire. I'm coughing and sneezing. Finally, I check in with the court clerk. And the DA calls me back.

"Do you have an attorney yet?"


"Why not you were supposed to get one by now."

"I want to do deferred adjudication."

"Ok. Just wait right there."

A minute later she returns with a form. "Sign here and here. No criminal charges in 6 months and it goes off your record."

Presently, the judge calls my name and I approach the bench fiddling with my iPhone.

"Didn't you see the sign that said 'no cell phones'"

"Yes, your honor."

So, basically, I said I was sorry and that I'd never do it again and they let me go. So long as I stay out of trouble for 6 months, it goes away.

But I'm not sure what sort of "trouble" they're referring to. And it's not like I'm good at staying out of trouble. Let's be clear about that.

But she did say I could leave the country. So I've got that going for me.

By the time I get home, it's after noon.

And I fiddle around for a long time trying to get all of my gear together. I think I left about 3:30 p.m. There's so much snow in the driveway I can't get up it. So, I cut down through Jonathan's yard, and somehow I don't crash it in the deep snow and ice.

Go by Kate's and she comes out and snaps some photos of me. These are the "before" photos.

Head out of town with the sun low in the sky. If I had a brain, I would have gone south of I-25. But Steve bullied me into taking US Highway 285, which is more scenic. But also colder. But the internet said the road was clear, so I hit it.

Even with all my winter gear on, I'm about to die on Kenosha Pass it's so cold. I pass a road pirate sitting there. I'm going over the speed limit but, for whatever reason, he doesn't come after me.

I'm so cold that I decided I'll just spend the night in Fairplay. Walk in and talk to the guy behind the counter at a gas station. Dude....I think I'm going to lose my hands. Do you have anything for me?

No. But you can run them under hot water in the back if that will help.

Can you give me a couple of plastic bags? That might help.

So, he gives me so plastic bags.

How far is it to Buena Vista?

About 30 miles. But dude...when the sun goes down, it gets insanely cold out there.

Yeah but I can be in Buena Vista in 30 minutes.

"Yeah, if you're like a time traveler or something,"

Apparently he's so stupid that he doesn't understand the mile-a-minute rule. The other girl behind the counter looks at him like he's retarded.

What's it like in Pagosa Springs? I ask.

I've never been there, he replies.

I try to put the bags on my hands while I'm on driving down the road and nearly die. My mirrors aren't adjusted right and the steering head bearing are loose so the bike wobbles badly.

The sun very low on the horizon. GoPro working intermittently. Hands freezing even in North Face ski gloves with plastic bags around them. Smarter people have heated handle grips. I am not smart.

I'm sick as a dog. And freezing cold. At Buena Vista, I decide to press on to Poncha Springs, hoping for a hot-springs scenario.

At Poncha Springs, the sun has set. It's dark. My entire body is raked with spasms and shivers. I'm already sick. Can't hardly feel my hands. I no longer trust the wet spots not he pavement. I pull into a gas station at Poncha Springs.

the girl at the gas station explains that there are no hot springs per se, unless you want to hike to them in the dark. But at Salida, there are places with hot tubs and saunas where the water is piped down from Poncha Springs.

This seems too good to be true. I dream about swimming in an enormous heated pool. But when I find a hotel in Salida that says "Hot Tubs" and "Sauna", etc., I pull in, check in, and then realize that I've been had. They're under construction, you see. We don't have these things like the Hut Tub and Sauna.

Never mind. In short order, I'm indoors, out of the cold. I turn the thermostat all the way up. Strip down and jump into the shower. It's so hot it nearly scalds me and I start to think that maybe I will live until tomorrow.

Watching the Hands

The eyes watch the hands warily. They don't trust them. They know better.

When things go into the trash, the eyes watch the hands very closely to see what gets tossed out.

It's so difficult to keep track of all of the technology. The cables and adapters and charging cords. And everything has to have a place. If you don't, then all is lost. If you have something but can't locate it, you don't have it.

Conversely, if you think you don't have something, you might have it, so again, the eyes scour all of the luggage and finally locate a 110V to USB adapter. This is a life saver, as I have too many things to charge every night and the MacBook Air only has 2 USB ports.

Steve calls and I start trying to plan a route for tomorrow. Wolf Creek Pass into Pagosa Springs? It's possible, but it won't be warm.

I did not bring the drones on this trip. The reason? The reason is that whoever designed them - it never occurred to him that people would want to transport them. If I could pull the legs off the drone, and if the controller weren't so ungainly, I would have brought the drones. But they're really not designed to be transported. So I left them behind. Not something I'm proud of, but that's where we are. The only place I could have fit the enormous, cumbersome drone carrying case is if I replaced the gas can with it. And I'll need the gas can more than I'll need the drone. Now, if I had rotopacks, sure....that might work. But I don't have rotopacks. So....

For some reason, I can't import from the GoPro Hero 4 directly into iMovie 11.
Connect the GoPro Hero 4, turn it on, it goes into USB mode.
iPhoto launches.
Close iPhoto.
Open iMovie.
File - Import from Camera
It says "No Camera Connected - To import video, please connect a camera."

Like...wow...well played, Apple.

Now, I'll try do the same thing, but I'll put the MicroSD card into an SD card with adapter and plug that into a USB port on the Apple and see if it likes that any better.

That didn't work either.

I also couldn't get them to import into iPhoto using the MicroSD card adapter and the universal card reader. So, the only way that I can import the videos from my GoPro Hero 4 is to import them into iPhoto, which pretty much can't do anything with them. But then, you can export them from iPhoto. What a nightmare. Well played, apple. Well played.

I'm going to try installing this software from Garmin for MacBook Air and see if I can get it working:

OK. It looks like this is just an update, and they're selling the software. Thanks for that, Garmin.

So, it looks like there's an app called Easy GPS that works on the Apple.


So, I see that it's on iTunes, but I don't see in the App Store. And I'm honestly not sure what the difference is.

So, I successfully imported all of my GoPro videos from today into iPhoto. Not that I wanted to, but I didn't have much of a choice.

Delete them from your camera?
Yes, for the love of God. Please.

Now that the GoPro videos are in iPhoto....now I can view them, but more importantly, I can export them. Classic.

Select all of the GoPro videos. File - Export
Kind = Original
Filename = Use Filename

Create a new folder to export them to:

users/robkiser/documents/GoPro 11/23/2015

Click OK. Preparing. Exporting.

So, when we get through with this, we'll delete them from iPhoto also. So, in theory, they won't be in iPhoto, and they won't be in the GoPro. Fingers crossed.

Somehow, I downloaded BaseCamp for Mac. And it won't let me install it without upgrading my O/S to MAC O/S 10.10 or greater. See...this is why I hate Apple. Christ.

So now, I'm installing OS/X El Capitan, whatever the hell that is. And I'm so exhausted there just aren't words. I'm sick. I'm exhausted. I should have to be dealing with this shit on the road. Arrrgh.

So, it does look like it exported all of my GoPro videos, surprisingly enough. Hmmm. Now, to see if we can import them into iMovie.

Now, I try to import them into iMovie.
File - Import - Movies
Select all of the movies in my folder GoPro 11/23/2015
GoPro Videos 11_23_2015
Move files

It says the hard drive only has 32 Gig which is absurd, of course.
Optimizing video.
Time remaining 16 minutes.

OMG. I just walked outside to get the odometer reading off of my bike. Wearing nothing but a t-shirt and my underwear. It was so cold I went into spasms.

My iPhone says it's 36 degrees F but that just can't be. It's mind-numbingly cold. Lord God it's cold here. And, apparently, this valley that I have to drive down through tomorrow isn't exactly warm. I'm going to fillet Steve next time I see him. This is all his fault...somehow.

Posted by Rob Kiser on November 23, 2015 at 7:30 PM


I have been blamed (rightly) for far worse than this! Remember, I was the one that used the "T" word (trailer), but noooo, that is absurd. I still wish I was on this adventure with you. I plan to be in Phoenix in January, maybe we can meet in Puerto Penasco, in you have thawed by then... 😎

Posted by: Steve on November 24, 2015 at 6:34 AM

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