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July 22, 2013
Rocky Mountain Sunrise in July
When you pull back, it's hard to know when to get back in.
Hard to know what matters. What's real.
I'm watching American Dad in bed, eating dried ramen noodles and they start playing this soundtrack on American Dad that makes me want to slit my wrists. It's called "I'm Walking This Road Because You Stole My Car (Don't Go)" by Alanna Lin (Fascinoma).
It's this amazing song...very sad, of course, but she has a beautiful voice. And it inspires me to work on my pictures. The song makes me want to rip all of my images from my cameras onto my PC and finally look at my shots that I took since I escaped from Central America. (I'm over Carrie. I don't think about her any more. She cheated on me. She stole my running shoes, so I deleted all of her pics. Done.)
Light is just coming into the room.
I am not a morning person. This is not my world.
Only it's hard to know what to do when you disengage.
It's easy to take things for granted. To wish for things we don't have. To ignore the things we're blessed with.
Inspired, I wander outside, to catch a glimpse of a rocky mountain summer sunrise.
Collapse into a faded chair on the redwood deck waiting for the sun to come up.
The mountains are my asylum. If there are no psychotic women screaming at you, it's amazing what you can hear.
In the darkness, I hear the wings of a male broadtailed hummingbird
Roosters crowing in the distance
Dog barks echo off nearby mountain tops.
A Cordilleran Flycatcher chirps his cryptic song and a crow caws and flies through my valley, low, between the trees
Light comes slowly into my valley now.
Pink clouds low in the east over the nightmare that is Denver.
Where all of the people live, without vision or ambition.
Mule deer bucks in velvet move silently through the scrub oaks.
Cotton candy skies. Ponderosa pines.
Silent crows fly overhead, betrayed only by the sound of their wings beating hard against faint mountain air.
A Northern Flicker stammers in the background.
Pink fade to purple, then somehow orange.
Today is a work day, I guess. But not for me. I'm not ready to play that game just yet. Something inside me says "No...Now is not the time. Not yet. Not before the summer ends. This is a time to play."
Life is short. Now is not the time to start marching collectively towards our graves. Now is the time to relax. Hard work pays off later, but procrastination pays off now.
The Broad-tailed Hummingbirds dogfight over the feeder out back. I'm not sure sure the Rufous Hummingbird is just now. Maybe he sleeps in like me? I can't be sure. Robert and I saw him on Saturday. He scared the pants off of Robert.
The Rufous is a mean one. Loud and brash. Beligerent. A boorish drunk at a quaint social gathering. But he must be out front. Or possibly still sleeping in his nest.
The light betrays my neglected land. Downed trees. Unmowed grass several feet deep.
All of this makes sense to me. I'm leaving it au natural. A polite rationalization for being too lazy to address it.
Now, racket from the neighbors. The kids go to camp. The parents go to work. And I climb back into bed and start copying my photos over onto one of the computers in the master bedroom. Alone in bed. With no psychotic hormonal women screaming at me.
I'm Walking This Road Because You Stole My Car (Don't Go)
by Alanna Lin (Fascinoma)
I'm walking this road because you stole my car,
I'm singing this song 'coz you have all my CD's,
You want me to believe in your love,
And yeah I will,
When you give back my stuff.
Give back my stuff.
The gerbils are dead, your books have found a home,
Under the tree where I have burried your clothes,
You want me to believe in your love,
And yeah I will,
When you dig up your stuff.
Dig up your stuff.
How am I supposed to learn,
What love is in this life,
How am I supposed to learn,
What love is what love is,
If you go, if you go, if you go,
Dont go, dont go, dont go...
I'm walking this road because you stole my car,
I'm singing this song 'coz you have all my CD's,
You want me to believe in your love,
And yeah I do,
'Coz I cant love enough,
Cant love you enough..
Give back my stuff..
You have my love.
Dont go, dont go, dont go...
Posted by Rob Kiser on July 22, 2013 at 5:32 AM
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