« Nowhere Left to Run: Sherman County Jail - Days 4 & 5 | Main | The War of the Squirrels »

July 19, 2013

Nowhere Left to Run: Cactus Jacks - Day 6

Friday, July 19

Goodland, Kansas - Morrison, Colorado

Odometer at the start of the day: 8,044 miles
Odometer at the end of the day: 8,044 miles
Miles driven today: 0 miles

Today, I wake up in the Days Inn in Goodland, Kansas. I'm laying in bed, praying that I don't have to wake up and face reality. But, I do, of course. Like everyone else. I check my cell phone. It's 6:49 a.m. So, no need to get up too soon. I fall back asleep. When I wake up again, it's 10:00 a.m. I call S&M towing, the maggots that have illegally confiscated my motorcycle.

"What do I have to give y'all to release my bike to me?" I ask. Drew is the boss, apparently. He tells me I'll need current registration, proof of insurance, and a clear title in my name. Obviously, this isn't possible. It can't be done.

And, this is why I break the law. Because the law makes no sense. Let's talk about the title, for instance. The bike needs to be titled in Colorado, obviously, as that is where I live. But, it's currently titled in Illinois, where I purchased the vehicle. Now, to transfer the title to Colorado, I have to bring the vehicle to Colorado and have it physically inspected by a police officer to verify that the VIN is correct. They won't let you transfer a vehicle into the state of Colorado without a verification of the VIN number.

So, obviously, I can't get the bike registered in Colorado without having the bike physically in Colorado. And he won't release the bike to me without valid registration. So now, he starts talking about me getting the bike registered in Kansas, as if that makes any sense.

I just ignore him. I call Robert R. and ask him to please drive to Kansas and pick me and my bike up in his truck. Robert R. solves a lot of problems. I can't drive. I can't drive away on the bike. Robert R. has a truck and a driver's license. So, I ask him to drive out. It's a 4 hour drive one way for him, but he agrees to come pick me up, for which I am eternally grateful.

I hang up the phone and fall back asleep.

I'm watching "I Almost Got Away With It" and all of these other shows that make me think that, if we could just erase the pigs from the face of the earth and start over, we'd all be OK. I fall asleep, and then I wake up.

Still I have no insurance on the bike. I decide that I've got to take the reigns and get some insurance for my bike. I call Progressive and they admit that they have a current policy for me on a 2004 XR 650L. Just as I suspected. I tell them to add on the 2010 KTM 990 Adventure. It costs me a total of $84.50. They fax me proof of insurance to the hotel. I collect it downstairs, climb back in bed, and fall fast asleep.

It's not so much that I'm lazy. It's just that I don't like doing anything.

Next thing I know, Robert calls me and says he's outside, so I go downstairs and meet him. I have all of my paperwork.

Granted, the registration is expired, but I have a clear Title and proof of Insurance. I figure we'll try to go and pick up the bike and make them tell me that we can't because the registration is expired.

I hand him a hundred dollars to cover the cost of his gas before it dawns on me that it's not nearly enough.

Instead, the woman is bamboozled, and she just copies all of my paperwork and allows me to leave on the bike.

I ask if there's a loading dock, and one of the employees points to a loading dock across the field.

Robert and I drive there, and I use a hand-crank to lower the loading dock to the level of his truck bed. We load up the bike, put on 4 tie-downs, grab lunch at Taco John's and head out.

Now, we're riding west on I-70 and it's a 4 hour ride home, or so. But I just talk the whole time telling everything I can remember about the trip through Central America, how I'd like to peel the skin off of Dimocrats and soak them in turpentine, etc. Just the normal stuff.

Finally, we make it home to Colorado. We fill up his truck and I pay for it. We stop by the Little Bear and Cactus Jacks for dinner/drinks, and then drive to my house and I hand him another hundred dollar bill.

He explains that I've already paid him, but I'm aware of how much I've given him. I insist that he takes it and then put him in the guest bedroom and we crash for the night, as neither of us needs to be driving at this point.

I owe him my sanity, of course. Who do you know that would come and pick you up in a different state? He's easily one of the coolest guys I've ever met. :)

Posted by Rob Kiser on July 19, 2013 at 9:39 PM


Hi Doug.

Posted by: TL on July 21, 2013 at 11:31 AM

Post a comment

Remember Me?

(you may use HTML tags for style)