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June 5, 2012

The City by the Bay

The Fox and the Bottle Brush

After work, Jack and I go out for drinks at Umami in the Marina.  We're walking to dinner and find a scarf on the sidewalk.  Has all kinds of crazy things on it like a fox and some pheasants.  I just put it on like I own the place because, something there is that I've learned about the city.  In the city, nothing matters.  The city is a jungle where you have to try to stand out from the crowd.  You have to try to get attention.

I mean, I'm always self-conscious, wandering around, worrying about whether I should be wearing jeans, khakis, or black pants.  I don't really know.  I have no fashion sense, of course.  So, I'm stumbling through the streets of the city, self conscious to a fault.  And then, I look around and see a homeless guy pushing a shopping cart full of trash through the crosswalk, head held high.  And a guy standing in a little crack in the city, hustling for change.  Babbling nonsense to the trees and anyone else that wanders by.

And I think...why is it that they can live here, uninspired, but unafraid.  Proud of the nothing that they have.  The things that they don't deserve and will never have.  Homeless people, prancing up and down the sidewalks, proud as peacocks.

And then me, the one person that arguably has the right to be proud.  I was in 4 states in 4 days on a dirt bike and not 4 small states that you see back east.  4 of the big states that they have out west.  

So, I decide to put on the scarf, and I'm walking through the marina with a silk scarf around my neck like a WWII pilot.  I mean, you really have to sort of admire me, in a pathetic kind of way.  You have to admit that, I'm one of the craziest people that you know.  Who does that?  Who drives to the airport and parks their dirt bike in short term parking to fly to a different timezone?

Walking through the marina now with this ridiculous scarf around my neck because, honestly, what different does it make?  I don't really care any more.  I'm not trying to impress anyone anyway.

We walk into this sushi bar and Jack orders the sushi, which is fine with me.  Like, we're not holding hands or anything, but I promise you I don't know shit about ordering sushi.  I did 18 years in Mississippi and I never tasted a fish that wasn't deep-fried until I was probably 30 or so.

So we're sitting here hitting on the waitress named Jen.  I'm showing her shots of my trip on the iPad.  Just being silly really.  But she's cute and fun and talks to us.  Jack assures me that she's hitting on me and I'm like seriously?  Are you retarded? Or are you just trying to humor me?

So we go to leave.  We close out our tabs and leave the place and we're walking home and just laughing because Jack is, honestly, as cool as the other side of the pillow.  And we're stumbling down the sidewalk and I'm like..."seriously, Jack.  Isn't San Francisco just the coolest city on the planet?"  And there's some racket behind us and seriously  eventually we stop and turn around to see what's going on, and it's the bartender running down the sidewalk towards us with my scarf in her hand.

"Hey...Colorado! You forgot your scarf!?!" and she hands me the scarf.

I'm like..."We found it on the sidewalk on the way over here" I laugh.  Like, please don't think I really would wear this crazy thing.  And Jack and I are laughing so hard we're about to choke.  

Freaking hilarious.  I love this city. :)

Posted by Rob Kiser on June 5, 2012 at 11:34 PM


You got some good stuff on this trip. I'm thinking about finally getting that scarf I've always admired. Now, I just need a colder climate to wear it in.

Posted by: KeKe Schultz on June 6, 2012 at 6:04 PM


You absolutely need to get a scarf. That night was hilarious. You wouldn't think a chick would appreciate that, but I swear something about it set her off. I dunno why. I felt absolutely retarded wearing it!


Posted by: Rob Kiser Author Profile Page on June 7, 2012 at 1:06 PM

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