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November 6, 2010

Timmy's Revenge

At 7:30 this the morning, Jennifer awakes to the cries of a flock of magpies.

I am standing in my underwear, AR-15 pointing out the bedroom window. An enormous fox is digging through my trash. Probably the biggest one I've ever seen. Nearly as large as a coyote.

Safety is off. Bullet in the chamber. I'm looking down the barrel, checking out the backstops.

Jennifer wakes up, realizes the front yard is about turn into the Ia Drang Valley. She plugs her ears and flees the room in terror.

I'm peering through the open sights of the AR-15. Waiting for a shot where I won't shoot the truck.

But the fox promptly trots out of sight without ever offering me a decent shot.

"Go out the front door," I shout to her. "I'll get him when he comes around back!"

Jennifer goes out the front door as I take a position on the redwood deck. The safety is off, but my finger's not on the trigger. The birds explode as Jennifer goes out the front. Two large deer jump up and move through the yard.

I'm out back now. Waiting for that horse-sized fox to come past. I'm hearing movement, but I can't get a visual. Suddenly, Jennifer pops out of the woods around the side of the house. The fox has disappeared.

Posted by Rob Kiser on November 6, 2010 at 8:16 AM

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