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March 05, 2007
A Pig, A Lawyer, and 50cc of Canadian Mist
“The first thing we do, let's kill all the lawyers.”
– Shakespeare - Henry VI, Part 2
The flying waitress prints my boarding pass and hands it to me and I'm like “Why do you people do this to me? 20C? Why do you keep sticking me on the back of the plane?”
And she checks my status and now she knows that we have a problem.
“I'm sorry Dr. Kiser. Where would you like to sit?”
“Christ...how about...not in the back of the fucking airplane?” They always do this to me and I don't want to be that guy - the lunatic screaming in the airport, berating the fading, brittle gate agent. I just want them to put me in the seat I requested. But, for some reason, I request seat 2F and I get 20C and it just drives me nuts because I'm on the same plane every week and Lord God what have I got to do to get in seat 2F anyway?
My hero is the guy in Snow Crash that has “POOR IMPULSE CONTROL” tattooed on his forehead. Maybe I should tattoo on my forehead “I WANTED SEAT 2F” and maybe that would clear it up for them.
For the rest of the story, buy my book "Killing Strangers".
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Posted by Peenie Wallie on March 05, 2007 at 10:25 AM
Comments
Cheers!
Posted by: sl on March 05, 2007 at 01:49 PM