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January 11, 2006

The Shower Police

Remember the Seinfeld episode when Kramer and Newman were shopping for illegal shower heads from the back of a van?

Kramer (pointing to the largest one): Now, what is this?

Salesman: That's the Commando 450, I don't sell that one. What about thi-

Kramer: Well that's what we want, the Commando 450.

Salesman: Nah, believe me. It's only used in the circus. For elephants.

Apparently, that wasn't as far fetched as you may have imagined. The Bureaucrat in Your Shower reveals that the federal government has been regulating the manufacture of shower heads for some time. Apparently, they don't want us to use too much water when we shower.

You might have some vague memory from childhood, and perhaps it returns when visiting someone who lives in an old home. You turn on the shower and the water washes over your whole self as if you are standing under a warm-spring waterfall. It is generous and therapeutic. The spray is heavy and hard, enough even to work muscle cramps out of your back, enough to wash the conditioner out of your hair, enough to leave you feeling wholly renewed — enough to get you completely clean.

Somehow, these days, it seems nearly impossible to recreate this in your new home. [snip] Why? As with most things in life that fall short of their promise, the government is involved. [snip] You mean they regulate how much my shower sprays? Yes indeed they do. Government believes that it has an interest in your shower? Yes it does.[snip]

The Federal Energy Policy Act of 1992 mandates that "all faucet fixtures manufactured in the United States restrict maximum water flow at or below 2.5 gallons per minute (gpm) at 80 pounds per square inch (psi) of water pressure or 2.2 gpm at 60 psi."

Some enviro-nazi eco-terrorists in Seattle are actually going after shower head manufacturers in Arizona for making shower heads that let a person use too much water. Land of the free? Free to do what? Free to do as we're told?

Hat tip: Michelle Malkin

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Posted by Peenie Wallie on January 11, 2006 at 6:45 PM

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