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December 31, 2005

RIAA coerces 15 year old girl to commit perjury

This is classic. The idiotic lawyers at the Recording Industry Association of Amerika, not content to intimidate and threaten children for file sharing on computers, has gone a step further. This time, the RIAA urged a 15 year old girl to commit perjury, telling her they didn't have a case if she didn't lie under oath on the witness stand in her own trial.

Begin Satire:

Today, my daughter played her new guitar that Santa Claus left for her under the tree and, it sounded a little like Pink Floyd, so I destroyed the guitar for fear of imminent litigation. Then, she made a little duck with the modeling clay I bought her for Christmas and said "Look daddy - It's Donald Duck." I promptly lectured her for hours on intellectual property rights and how rich corporations like Disney are damaged by copyright infringement. When she stopped crying, we destroyed the counterfeit duck and the remainder of the modeling clay.

Just to make sure all of our bases were covered, we called the NSA and FCC and reported the incident. They're sending a forensic team of securocrats out at dawn to gather evidence against us.

End Satire:

If everyone is so gung-ho on the CIA torturing suspected illegal combatants in Eastern Europe, I vote that the next group of victims we dump into the maw of the CIA is these vermin from the RIAA and MPAA.

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Posted by Peenie Wallie on December 31, 2005 at 12:56 AM

Comments

"The lawyers [for the entertainment industry] usually can't see anything wrong with a world where their employers sell you your media one feature at a time: 20 bucks for a video, another buck for a pause button, and 50 cents for a fast-forward."

-Cory Doctorow
"The Last Generation of Engineers"
Make Volume 2

Carrie Fisher -- "Princess Leia" of Star Wars fame -- once joked about the merchandising, "I signed my likeness away. Every time I look in the mirror, I have to send Lucas a couple of bucks."

Posted by: Robert on December 31, 2005 at 06:50 AM

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