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July 8, 2005

Robbers terrorize English serfs

Crime is rampant in the country of England. Street robberies are soaring, and police have been told not to even bother investigating crimes such as burglary, vandalism and assaults unless evidence pointing to the culprits is easily available.

Police blame the dramatic increase in muggings on increased cell phone use.

A man found ablaze in the street, was mortally injured by the flames. The police did not consider the incident suspicious enough to warrant an investigation.

In England, police adivise people who witness a crime to 'walk on by' and the professionals handle it.

The BBC has advised that you are not to yell "help" if you are mugged, but instead yell "call the police".

In a country populated with disarmed victims, a new fad has arisen called "Happy Slapping", where unsuspecting victims are slapped, punched, or assaulted, just for entertainment.

Fresh on the heels of their obviously successful gun ban, the British are now seriously proposing to ban toy guns and sharp knives.

Tony Martin, the Norfolk farmer jailed for killing one burglar and wounding another during the seventh break-in at his home, was denied parole. By contrast, the wounded burglar, despite a long string of prior convictions, was paroled after eighteen months and granted public funds to sue Martin on grounds his injured leg kept him from working.

The vice-president of the Superintendents Association insists no change in the law is needed, only better locks. In case of a burglary, he urges families to retreat to a "secure room" there to await police help. On no account are they to arm themselves with anything, or approach the intruder. Someone might get hurt. If that someone is the intruder the resident can be sued by the burglar, and will certainly be prosecuted by the state.

Posted by Peenie Wallie on July 8, 2005 at 1:42 PM

Comments

Several years ago, a 77-year old WWII veteran was arrested for defending his home with a toy gun from a gang of hooligans misunderstood youth.

On the day he was scheduled to appear in court, he hung himself. This menace-to-society's younger brother "said that his brother had been upset at being arrested and ashamed because he had never been in trouble with the police before."

At least the young criminals victims of this horrible crime were not harmed.

Thank God The Non-Denominational Diety of Your Choice that No-Longer-Great Britain Airstrip One is safe from the likes of Bill Clifford.

Posted by: Robert on July 8, 2005 at 3:24 PM

In case of a burglary, he urges families to retreat to a "secure room" there to await police help.

If the "secure room" is the safest place in the entire house, why not just build the entire house out of the same material as the "secure room?"

Posted by: Robert on July 8, 2005 at 3:32 PM

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