April 12, 2005
On Easter Sunday this year, I didn't have my daughter, so I spent the day alone. I went to Wendy's and ordered my Sunday dinner through an intercom.
"Can I get a number six with a diet coke?"
"That will be five twenty one, sir. Happy Easter."
On the way home, I accidentally stumbled onto an Easter Dinner that my neighbors were throwing. It was embarrassing and awkward. I had always considered them my friends, and it wasn't like it was a small party. Everyone seemed to be there except me, so I just excused myself and left, feeling lower than a snake's belly.
Then, tonight, some of my other neighbors threw a party tonight and, predictably, I wasn't invited. They offered to feed me and I was like "Oh no. I have to get going. I've got to rewind all my DVD's. Sorry for the intrusion." and I bolted.
It's really embarassing. I mean, you think that you're friends with these people, and then they're all sitting around like socialites, eating, drinking, and gossiping. And it's intuitively obvious to the casual observer that they don't want you there, or you'd have gotten an invitation.
I considered burning my house and fleeing into the night, but this seemed a bit drastic, even to me. But, considering that things probably wouldn't change in the near future, I wondered if there wasn't a way to solve this social dilemna.
It was then that I was struck with the idea of the "Disinvitation". In my world, I envision an entire line of "Disinvitation" greeting cards for those pesky, unwelcome neighbors(such as myself) that have a nasty habit of turning up at the most inopportune times. Uninvited, unannounced, unwelcome ne're-do-wells can irreparably tarnish the patina on what should have been a pretentious social gathering.
Here's a sample Disinvitation that I threw together tonight. I think I'll print these up and hand them to my neighbors so that they can notify me of their parties, without inviting me, so that we can avoid these unpleasant situations in the future.
Posted by Peenie Wallie on April 12, 2005 at 3:04 AM
you could always throw your own hugh party and invite everyone including them and maybe they will come but then maybe not. Come to MS and we will have a party. It is April and you usually come.
Posted by: Grandmama on April 12, 2005 at 3:33 PM
To heck with them. They do not know (or maybe they do) what they are missing :^)
If we had time to have parties, other than the little girl birthday kind, you would be at the top of the list!
P.S. What are you doing up at 3:00 AM???
Posted by: Les on April 13, 2005 at 11:10 PM
Cry me a river.
Posted by: kate on April 17, 2005 at 6:46 PM