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October 25, 2008

Lake Evergreen

Jen and I took the canoe out for its maiden voyage on Lake Evergreen today. The canoe handled like a champ. It's the perfect size for the two of us. At 13 feet long, it's small enough that I can load it onto the Tahoe without any help, but big enough that we can canoe it across the lake without tipping over.

Jennifer packed a lunch in our "Yogi Bear"-style Hawkeye picnic basket and we paddled all over the lake, feeding the Mallards and chasing muskrats. (Jen insists on calling the muskrats "swimmie things".) We watched a large Red-Tailed Hawk hunting over the lake and discovered the peculiar mud nests of the Barn Swallows hidden amongst the metal trusses beneath the hiking path bridges around the lake.

We tried a little fishing, but weren't having much luck until we got down near the Lake House where we found a little secret cove that can only be accessed by boat. We started casting up into this little cove and we'd catch a fish or get a strike on nearly every cast. But the wind picked up quite suddenly and I allowed the wind to push the canoe into the bank so that we wouldn't be capsized or pushed out into the center of the lake.

As soon as the canoe touched the shore, some rabid tree-hugger came out of the Lake House and started yelling at us. She was foaming at the mouth like a Dachshund eating a frog. Teetering on the brink of self-immolation, she screeched that we shouldn't be touching the land with our canoe as it was a protected wetland.

I'm just looking at this rotten wench thinking, "You have got to be kidding me." Like...here's a man with his 10 year old daughter out fishing on a lake paddling around in a canoe. Like - I don't even have a trolling motor here. Just two wooden paddles. And this rotten fervent-feminist-Obama-loving wench has got to stop what she's doing to come scream at us for allowing our canoe to touch the land. If I had a rifle, I'd have shot her right between the eyes and left her putrid corpse to decay in the sacred wetlands.

I yelled back that the wind had nearly capsized us and we were lucky to be alive. She just scowled and stomped off.

This is the way of the tree-huggers. They don't give a "tinker's damn" about a human life. But if a muskrat or a cormorant is threatened - then we have a problem.

"You know dad...I'm really surprised that they ever even allowed them to build a Lake House here in the first place," Jennifer observed.

I tried to explain to her that everything we have that is nice was built before the eco-terrorist movement took hold and that today, nothing could be built. Not just the Lake House, but the lake itself, as Evergreen Lake is a man-made lake. If you walked in and requested a permit to dam Bear Creek to make a lake today they'd laugh you out of the state.

After our verbal thrashing, we were more careful to keep the canoe centered in the cove, and we reeled in fish until our arms were tired. Jennifer said we caught six Rainbow Trout and one German Brown, but we lost a lot of fish also. In the end, we only kept two because we really didn't want to clean out the whole lake.

We were able to put the bitter vitriol of the tree-hugger behind us, as that's just the way of those vermin. They have no manners. No sense of common decency. They're rude, vulgar, bitter, and antagonistic. It's just their nature. But we did stop on the way home and pick up a McCain/Palin sign and I hammered it into the ground in my yard before we unloaded the canoe from the truck.

Posted by Rob Kiser on October 25, 2008 at 10:31 PM


Why would anyone want to disturb an idyllic, serene spot with a noisy old canoe full of Mcain/Palin lovers. I guess you'll want to eat those poor little defenseless fishies. You should be out shopping for a Wii or a Gameboy instead of wasting your valuable time bumping into people's yards who forgot to take their medicine this morning (for goodness sake). Remember this life is not a dress rehearsal. ;-)

Posted by: GWTH 2008 on October 26, 2008 at 5:31 AM

dont even mention that the house likely has a septic system that effectively runs into the lake. You should have taken a leak on her property, if its actually hers. Mop

Posted by: mop on October 26, 2008 at 12:08 PM

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